Dear Roland,
That web site looks quite good, thanks for sending the link. This spurred me on to see what bibtex's own documentation looks like. CTAN contains the bibtex.web source file in biblio/bibtex/base. That is ultimately the specification of how bibtex parses, and also generates its documentation, which is available in e.g. TeXLive at the path texmf-dist/doc/generic/knuth-pdf/bibtex/bibtex.pdf .
There we can see that when parsing an entry, if the entry type is found in a hash that's populated from a bst file, the bool type_exists is set to true. Otherwise, type_exists is set to false. The only thing that happens when type_exists is false is generating a warning message (see Sec. 273). It is *not an error* to use a type that is not defined in a bst file (which, again, I emphasize, BibTeX-mode has no way of knowing).
How about this proposal? Can BibTeX-mode have a (customizable) boolean variable, something like bibtex-parse-permissively? If this flag is nil, BibTeX-mode would operate as it does right now. If this flag is t (or maybe just non-nil?), then bibtex-parse-entry would parse entries just according to the regexps on the nice web site you sent — that is, ignoring the value of bibtex-entry-alist.
Best,
Leo